Carol of the Bells
by division-ten
Summary: A belated Secret Santa gift for the Tumblr Exchange. Talwyn invites Ratchet to celebrate his first Christmas.


"December twenty- what? I mean, I have off from the 24th to the first, though I don't know why," Ratchet said, flicking through his calendar app on his holopad, Talwyn's form floating off to the side on hologram while he worked on the engine block in front of him. Three versafuses had burned out, and they were too old a model to swap, so Ratchet had to actually repair the damn things. Client paid pretty well, though, so no big. "I mean, I understand the 31st to the 1st, that's Polaris Standard New Year's, right? But why the week? Is it like Bogonese New Year's that lasts a month but people get the first week off?"

"It's Christmas, you big goof," Talwyn replied.

"What now?"

"How big of a rock did you live under?" she replied, hands on hips.

" _Veldin_ ," Ratchet replied dryly, as he carefully opened up the versafuse to replace the burnt out filament and clean the soot off the inside of the glass. One of _three_. Yuck.

"…point," Talwyn replied. "I'm guessing different religions in that part of the universe? Do you believe in anything, Ratchet?"

"Other than Zoni are super weird and I have one for a roommate? Nah. Never was the shrine-going type. You?"

"Not really, but…"

"But?"

"Christmas was always a thing my dad and I did. He… well he always did a Lombax style Christmas since the Markazians don't celebrate. Staunch Zonists, to a fault, with Polaris split pretty cleanly between Zonists and Zionists, the latter celebrating Christmas and a few other holidays relating to their beliefs. Most Lombaxes saw the Zoni as just some other species, "

Ratchet's ears perked up. He wasn't going to suddenly start believing in something, but learning a bit about his species' faith might be interesting. He put down the filament cutters and propped his head up on an arm, elbow to the workbench. "So, why am I off from contract duty with the Polairs Defense Force, then? What's this about?"

"Why don't you… meet me on Fastoon, then? Bring camping equipment?' she replied.

"Uh, sure? I could do that…" he replied, a little surprised. "Should I bring rations, or anything?"

"Nah, I got food. Just camping equipment and Clank. Sound good?"

"Yeah. I'll see you in two weeks, then."

* * *

"Clank, I look ridiculous," Ratchet whined, as his friend belted in a sash, pulling a little too tightly.

"This is traditional attire," Clank replied dryly. "And red and white look good on you, if I say so myself."

"Honestly, I think IRIS just makes this stuff up. Father Nicholaus went from family to family dropping off gifts because some guy with crazy powers was born? Dude sounds like he got the Zoni or the Nethers to do some magicky stuff off his behalf."

"That was the major schism between the Zonists and the Zionists," Clank replied, as he started braiding three cords to tie in a bow on Ratchet's tail. "That one Sigmund told me about. And he said the Zoni weren't involved with this Redeemer fellow, so he might really have been supernatural in origin. It is not my place to judge religion. As it were, Nicholaus was a lombax from many years later with extensive docu-"

"YEOW," Ratchet screamed, claws extended out in reflex. "Don't yank my tail like that!"

"Apologies, Ratchet," Clank replied, with a slight uptick in his tone. "Here, take a look."

"You did that on purpose," Ratchet replied.

"Of course. This means something to her. How would you feel if someone insulted the Festival of the Rains?"

Ratchet frowned. The Festival of the Rains honored the coming of monsoon season, and the reminder that food would grow in their horribly arid environment. Everything shut down in anticipation, people danced almost naked in the streets, and gifts wrapped in oilcloth hide- usually sweets and coin for the children. Ratchet didn't have too many fond memories of childhood, but running into town in a loincloth and waterproof paint in his fur like a wild animal high on sugared fruits and meat tarts… just crazy stupid fun, and the only time of the year that he wasn't really picked on.

"You win, Clank," Ratchet replied with a soft smile. "So, on a scale of 1 to Qwark's bathrobe, how stupid do I look?"

"See for yourself," Clank replied, holding out his vidscreen with the facing camera on, so Ratchet could use it like a mirror. A fur lined cap with red, white, and gold cording so it could tie around his ears, a thick tunic and pants with an even larger red robelike jacket with white and gold ric-a-rac trim and cord, and a corded bow on his tail, which he wagged. The weight was a bit heavy, and awkward, but nothing he couldn't get used to, before he noticed that there was a _bell_ tied to it- that's why it felt burdende. He shook his tail once more, jingling loudly.

"I'm gonna be ambushed with this, take it out," Ratchet pouted, shaking his tail again for emphasis. "I'll wear the rest, but that bell has to go. This isn't a city anymore, and we're going to be picked to shreds by the wildlife if they know I'm here."

"It was actually something most lombaes wore," Clank countered. The wildlife around here that come out at night are blind. The bells are quite loud to them and a scare tactic. Nicholaus wore one long after this area was a major city as he would give gifts to all children, even those in the caravans in the badlands, and orphans, for his own safety."

"Whelp. that's it, you said the magic word starting with 'o'," Ratchet replied, mock-sighing as he clipped his harness on over the getup. In all honesty, it didn't look bad on him, just felt… weird. Hefting Clank up on his back and carrying a bucket with gifts for Talwyn, instead of a transport sledge like the man of legend, he trudged out of Aphelion to the coordinates Talwyn had sent for their camp.

Ratchet smelled it before he saw it, the smell of meat and fruits being roasted in a pit. Carefully, Ratchet walked barefoot on the rocks and fine gravel, much easier traversal with his lombax feet and years of mountaineering on Veldin than wearing shoes, before using his claws to grip a cliff ledge to get a better look in the valley that was their meeting place.

An entire small settlement had been erected; thick, brightly colored wool tents that looked like the ones IRIS had shown Ratchet the very day Talwyn had told them about her idea. Qwark was chopping firewood (bare handed of course), and… was that Helga and Sasha rotating a Leviathan roast over the fire? No wonder Ratchet was salivating worse than a War Grok.

"So, uhhh, Clank…." Ratchet whispered as he spied _Nefarious_ of all people sitting on a big wooden chair yelling orders at everyone. Because _of course he was_. All told, Talwyn had managed to gather every one of Ratchet's friends and acquaintances together for a night of food and festivities without letting on that she was and, more impressively, _without a fight breaking out._

"Yes Ratchet?"

"Pretty sure I need more gifts…"

"Ratchet…?" Ratchets ears and tail perked up, setting off a loud metal jingle. _Talwyn_.

Ratchet slowly turned around and unhooked his foot-claws from the ledge to see Talwyn… also dressed as Nicholaus with a bell in her tail. Before he had time to reac, she pounced, hugging Ratchet in a death grip, both of them wagging tails in laughter at the other's get-up, as well a the surprise each had brought.

Helga squinted her eyes as she looked up towards the loud sound of ringing in the cliff above them.

"Ghet a _rhuuum_ , yuuu tuuuu!"


End file.
